Im not sure-

What to to any more-

My life has fell apart-

Its like my lot-

Is to have not-

And to wear a broken heart-

Im numb to those around me-

What I would give to be the man I use to be!-

And not see the world so dark-

I just can't shake this cynical feeling-

My soul is gone too far for healing-

There is no way now to restart-

For there's nothing here left to…

Where do I belong my loving host?-

Nowhere to me it seems-

For the things in life I want the most-

Are the things farthest from me-



To love, to hold another-

Until we're called on home

For me is like taking a feather-

And trying to cut through bone-



To have good times with friends again-

And for them to need me-

As I write these words with my pen-

Its the closest I'll ever be-



To live my life in service-

To a fierce and…

death angel

death angel

why do you stare at me so?

I know its me you have come to take

I can feel its my time to go

death angel

death angel

why do you wear a grin?

is it because its your time to punish me

and make me pay for all of my sins?

death angel

death angel

is your silence to mourn

the passing of a foolish man,

like the calm before the storm?

death angel

death angel

why do you stand so…

You're like a drug to me-

my own personal heroine-

stronger than I know-

more so than any I would dare to ever try-

Ive tried talking about you to others-

I only want you more-

I dont think I can quit you-

Ive even tried taking other drugs to drown you out-

To make you a thing of the past-

but none even come close to you-

I long for you-

I shake, I sweat-

I do whatever it takes to get you-

Im hooked-

thank God-

Im…

I hope you're happy now-
as I sit with nothing-
memories pounding at me-
I cant escape-

Mistakes Ive made with you-
run a marathon in my head-
your voice, a soundtrack to all my fears and failures-
I cant even cry about it anymore-

As the years have gone by-
and my heart stands still-
I hope you're happy now-

--John Smith--